I'm sitting here at my desk, listening to Tabitha's cd crying about the rocker. Why the hell am I crying about the rocker? I have absolutely no fricking idea. Damn it.

Last Wednesday the fitness center at San Jose State got 6 new eliptical trainers. They are by StairMaster. They are one of the machines that also does arms. I HATE THIS MACHINE. I hate it. It is the hardest, unmotivating machine that the fitness center was trying. Apparently, when I first got my membership, the fitness center was trying out different eliptical trainers to decide which ones to purchase. I liked two. The Precor EFX and the Life Fitness 95Xi. I would alternate between the two. The Life Fitness on MWF and the Precor on TTh. I tried the StairMaster once before and hated it. I never tried it again. On these other machines I was able to go almost 6 miles an hour. On the StairMaster, 2.2. On the other machines, I burned over 300 calories in my 30 minute workout. On the StairMaster, 90. It is the most unmotivating machine I have ever used. And now I have no choice. I have to use it, or go to the recumbant bike. They have 2 different brands of recumbant bikes, two brands of regular bikes, and two different brands of treadmills. Could we have two brands of eliptical trainers? NO. We are stuck with the icky one. What makes me the most irritated is that there was supposedly a survey taken asking people which machine they liked the best. No one I have talked to has heard of said survey. No one was asked. In the mornings, I'm not the only one upset about this. Of the four girls I've talked to, only one likes the StairMaster. Everyone else liked the Life Fitness. I think that the manager of the fitness center is doing what the current president of the United States is doing. Pretending to care what the people want, taking falsified survey results and then declaring a mandate with 51% of the populace agreeing with the policy. What happened to diversity? Why does the manager feel that everyone would like using the same machine? Why couldn't we have one or two of the other machines and 5 of the StairMaster? I'm absolutely frustrated, and now I don't like going to the gym. After 3 months of going, I don't want to go anymore. That my bahama mama challenge friends is the biggest bummer of them all. I had finally found a workout routine that worked for me. And I was doing it every day. I'm very disappointed in the fitness center. I'm also disappointed that my complaints have gone unanswered. I've never wanted to write a letter to the editor of the Spartan Daily before. I really do now. I think the fitness center should be about all it's users, not just the precious few that were actually questioned. That is, IF anyone was actually asked what they liked. And yes, I'm cranky about it. I have been since last Wednesday.

Part of getting ready to move included my mother calling my cousin Cindy to come down and help me "get rid of the clutter." What this meant to my mother was, "Gwen has too much shit, won't get rid of it, and I know Cindy will." So, knowing what had to happen, I allowed 25 bags of clothing to go to GoodWill on Sunday. Jones New York suits. At least 10 Jones New York suits. Granted, I couldn't wear a one because they were too big, but still. Beautiful wool skirts and pants that coordinated with the suits. Dresses. My most favorite Jones New York dress. Black silk with gold stars. Shoes. The navy blue suede Charles David pumps I got for my sisters wedding that I may have worn 3 times. Hell, the dress I wore at my sisters wedding. Gone. All gone. Then, my Family Circles going back to 1999. I kept the Christmas ones, but good thing I went through all of them before I tossed them. I found four that weren't pulled out. Every Mode magazine that was ever printed. Gone to the recycle bin. And there is more. Stuffed animals that I didn't get rid of the last cleaning. My old walkman and sony cd player. Purses, wallets... All gone. I hate giving things away. I hate that my mother forced the issue. I hate feeling like I had no choice in the matter. I hate that she had me go look for houses while the purging continued at my house. I hated filling up the recycle bin tonight with all my magazines. You know whats worse? Knowing that barely one room is done. I've got 4 rooms and a garage left to go, and that doesn't count the space under the stairs. As much as I want a new house, I hope it doesn't come too soon. All this purging doesn't make me feel better, cleaner or free'er. I feel a huge sense of loss, and having it come because someone else forced the issue so only makes it worse. I would have packed it all and moved it to the new house. It is, you know, the pack-rat way.

Macromedia finally put the infonetwork back up, and I now have a piece of information that has been eluding me for just over a week. This made me happy. It's sad it made me happy, but it did.

After much discussion and a ton of frustration, my mom and I let our realtor go. It's kinda sad really. Neither mom or I could figure out who he was working for. It was like we would find something to put a bid in on, and he would talk us out of it. Then he would make excuses later as to why. This last time, and the time before, the other agent was playing games. Who knows who was playing games. I don't. Later on in the day, I get a call from his boss apologizing for what happened, and asking if there was anything he could do to help. Yeah, ok, I really want to work with this guy's firm at this point. Then he says the guy I just let go has cancer. Hmm. Now I'm being guilted into staying. Hell, that's why I was still with him in the first place, I figured that he had taken me out looking, we should just stick with him. Now, I hope I'm doing this smartly. I'm going to interview a few agents, and see if I like any of them. I need to feel like I trust my agent. Besides, this is a huge deal, 6% of 600,000 at least. that is a ton of money. I need to know what an agent is going to do for me. I've got my eyes open now.

Last night I was talking to Stephen on the phone. I had forgotten to call him on Sunday to wish him a happy birthday, so I was taking care of business. For some reason, I have no idea why, we started talking about "W". Stephen kept calling him "Bush". I said, he is no bush, he is more like a "shrub". To which Stephen replied, "I always thought of him more like a landing strip." I then said, "He doesn't even qualify as a landing strip, he is more like a brazilian. We all know there is just nothing there." I guess that's what you get when you put two hard-up people on the phone... Even the president's name becomes sexual.

I was pretty lucky about my trip to New Orleans. My mother decided to come home about the same time for doctors appointments. That meant that Daisy didn't have to stay with neighbours, she got to stay at home, where she is much more comfortable. I dropped mom's car off in the short term parking at the airport on Sunday morning. She picked it up on Monday evening. It worked out beautifully. Daisy spent 2 days (1 night) with Carol, and then my mom took care of her until I got home. My mom is very excited motivated to sell the house. When I got home she had been talking to handy men, painters and the like. She said we had to go to Home Depot so we could get things for the house that we are now going to sell. We bought a new kitchen faucet (oh my is it nice), a range hood that matches the appliances (not the nasty brown/rusty color we had before), knobs for the kitchen cabinets, and a new light ficture for the stairwell. I was impressed. She also got things for her room (which she is never in). She got new bedding and lamps. We didn't spend much, but what we did spend will go a long way. We have picked a day for the house to go on the market, December 8th. I'm a bit nervous about it. I'm very scared that I won't be able to find something to move into. The market is so tight here. There are 10 - 12 offers on even the icky houses. Houses that need thousands of dollars of work. I wonder if we really should be selling... But then my agent is not helping any. He makes tons of excuses of why we shouldn't have bid on something. We lost a chance at another house over the weekend. It is very irritating. I have hunches, and they are ignored. I told my mom that we needed a new agent. She didn't have time to get us a new one, so now we are stuck. Mom signed the preliminary paperwork to put the house on the market. I'm not quite sure how I would fire him now. I really wish we had. I'm sure he is a nice guy, he just doesn't seem to do what I feel like I need in an agent. That is someone who is willing to write offers. He isn't. It's like the planets have to be in alignment for him to write an offer. Unfortunately for us, I don't thinks those planets will ever be in alignment. This week, I've got men coming in to give me estimates, men coming in to do work, and I've got to call the stagers and ask a ton of questions. I think it is really going to be busy this week. I hope I'm up for it. Just think, in two weeks, I'm going to be on my way to DisneyLand. Maybe I should just think about that and be happy.