On August 26, I recieved an email from the rocker that basically said "f*ck off and die". Actually, I thought it was funny. Really funny, and very, very sad. It was like when a cat gets cornered, and comes out with all it's claws out and teeth bared ready to fight... But the thing that cornered the cat wasn't scared (actually indifferent), and the cat just runs off, without realizing that the thing that cornered it wasn't even interested in it at all. I printed the email and put it away in a drawer. Everytime I think I want to contact him or I'm feeling a little melancholy about him I just look at that drawer. Sometimes I open the drawer, and pull it out... But I don't read it. I remember how absolutely ridiculous I thought it was and I put it back. When my birthday rolled around, the rocker sent me a greeting. Why? I have no clue. I know the last email I sent him said that if he wanted to contact me, he should call. The last email he sent me basically ended with, "have a nice life". I took the birthday email as a sign that I needed to beef-up my spam filters and did so. Well... The spam filter worked. The christmas greeting he sent on Christmas Eve was in my trash folder on the server. It never even made it down to my machine. What told me to go look for it I'll never know, but there it was. "Merry Christmas!" I was disappointed in myself for looking, but then I was confused with the sentiment. Somehow I knew it would be there, but why? And why did I care enough to find it? So I'm going to ask this one last time. Tom, if you want to talk to me, then call me. Otherwise, please, leave me alone. You seem to need to play games, and I really don't want to play. If you need something, tell me vocally, so I can decide if I have it in me to help you. If you are just trying to be friendly, stop. We aren't going to be friends, and you know that. Being your friend is not a healthy thing for me. I know you don't understand that, but it's true. So, please stop. Really. I'm asking nicely. From this point on, I'm going to stop looking through the trash. I think it is best. If the lurkers think that leaving this message here is kind of a game, well... maybe. But I don't want to start an email conversation with him. I don't. Telling him this in an email will start a dialog that I don't want. When I tried calling him the last time, he didn't answer his phone... I'm not really wanting to leave a message, you know? I think in someways, he still reads. Thus, I'm leaving this bit of internet graffiti... In hopes that he will hear me now, as he has rarely ever heard me in the past.

(click image for a bigger view) Now, hopefully those of you on the Christmas Card exchange list have already recieved this. If you haven't, I sent out a few more today. Next year, when you see my button, don't be afraid, just TRADE! And, for those of you who are curious about the little girl in the picture... That's me, circa 1972. I had just been hit in the face with a snowball. And, yes, it's true. I'm crying, not laughing. If you are interested in the playlist, just look in the extended entry.

So, I'm sick again. I was sick on my birthday, and now I've got the same damn cold less than two weeks later. What is that crap. As it is, I had a hissey fit on Thursday night and called in sick because I couldn't stop crying on Friday. Saturday, I looked at crap houses when I should have been resting and drinking lots of juice. Sunday, I went shopping with Andrea & Tabitha instead of resting and drinking lots of juice. I ended up passing out on Chris and Andrea's couch for most of Sunday afternoon. I took the nap that Tabitha should have. Yesterday, I stayed home sick while realtors came through my house... Lucky for me, I pick up the downstairs before I go upstairs every night. The only room that was a distaster was my room, filled with dirty kleenex and water and drugs. I'm sure it was a pleasant sight for all. I really shouldn't be here today, but I'm worried about how much sick time I have left. I seem to be getting sick every 3 weeks or so. With 2 - 3 days off each time, I'm running out really quickly. I hope this stress ends quickly. I just can't stand being sick, and honestly, I'm tired of it. I get the feeling it's not going to be over until we get a house... And I don't think that is going to happen anytime soon. blah.

These ladies came to my house today more than two hours late today to stage my house for my open house this weekend. This is what I was quoted:

Front Porch ? Pot of flowers and doormat. Entry/Hall ? Art Living Room ? Pillows for sofa, rug, accessories, art (if needed), plant(s). Dining Room ? Table settings, decorative accessories, art (if needed). Kitchen ? Decorative kitchen accessories, art. Bedroom ? Accent pillows, other colorful bedding (if needed), art (if needed), decorative accessories, plant(s). Office ? Art, pillows for sofa, accessories, plant(s). Sitting Room ? Pillows, art, accessories, plant(s). Master Bedroom ? Top bedding, chair, bedside tables, lamps, decorative accessories, art and plant(s). Bathrooms (2?) ? Towels, art, decorative accessories, plants. Design Fee: $1000 Rental (monthly): $450 Total Staging Fee: $1450

What I got: My Heywood Wakefield square two tiered corner table shoved in the garage on its side, unprotected from the concrete. Little piles of of my things all over the floor, including my Heavenly Days Coffee pot and two tiered server. Upstairs in another pile I found 4 Royal Dalton figurines ready to fall down the stairs. My tooth brush and other toiletries were treated the same way. I have never seen such disrespect for other peoples property in my life. Not only that, but the things they didn't want in the house, they stacked in the garage, right in front of the stairs. I couldn't have used my washer and drier if I tried. This included my Kitchen Aid mixer, placed hap-hazardly on the stair that you go down to enter the garage. It was the worst use of space I had ever seen, with total disrespect to the things that were put there. They even stacked my vinyl records flat on a book case that would have housed them upright. They quoted that they would put art in every room. They used ONE butt-ugly piece of art in my room. ONE. That was the only art they added. They quoted that they would put towels in each bathroom. There is not one towel that belongs to them in my home. They quoted that they would put pillows and plants in my office. There is not one thing owned by them in my office. Not only did they do a horrible job, they did not even provide the props that we paid for. DO NOT ALLOW THESE WOMEN INTO YOUR HOME. THEY WILL BREAK YOUR THINGS AND OVER CHARGE YOU FOR THEIR SERVICES. THEY ARE HORRIBLE DESIGNERS AND SHOULD NOT BE TRUSTED. If they are recommended to you by your agent, tell your agent you want another option. Do not let them into your house. Seriously. Mine was an unfinished disaster area, and after complaining, they simply left without finishing their job. I am canceling their check in the morning for not completing their contract as specified.

We still didn't get one.

It's been a crazy, crazy week. Crazy. My house is now officially on the market. I'm a bit freaked about it. Wait, I'm a lot freaked about it. Before I went to DisneyLand, I went and looked at this house. I thought it could be perfect and suggested that we bid on the property. Monday night we were given the bad news. We bid $620,000 with $5,000 cash to move in before the close of escrow. We thought that was a very good bid. NOT. This house had 18 bids. 18. 3 of which were over $650,000. CAN YOU IMAGINE? I can't. I don't get it. So, we aren't moving to a house that is 1 house away from a pretty busy street, surrounded by 2 story houses, with no fence, $10,000 of section one termite damage, and needing to be tented. Really guys. You are so happy you don't live in Northern California. People here are insane. So, now we have bid on this house. It's 100 square foot bigger than the other house, in a different neighbourhood, and needs different work. The fireplace needs to be rebuilt, there is no fence (what is with no fences!), and $3,000 in termite damage. We bid $628,500, with the $5,000 cash so we can move in early. This house is a bit different than the other one. The seller disclosed that someone died in the house. {warning racist comment on the way} Asian people won't buy a house that someone died in. So, there were only 6 bids on this house, because the Asian people aren't bidding it up well above it's actual value. {end racist comment} As of last night, we were on the top of the pile. We are offering more than 30% down. That means no worries about appraisals. We have a letter saying that we are qualified for the loan for the rest of the money. We are offering an As-Is sale (but that's what they all are, As-Is sales). I've been waiting all morning for my phone to ring. I can't think. I can't concentrate. I only want to know what is going on with this house stuff. I feel out of touch with my blogger friends because I'm not reading. I just want to think about/talk about this house crap. I'm worried that I didn't clean well enough for the stagers. I'm worried that we won't get the kind of money we need to buy the house we bid on if we get it. I tell you what. When they say you need to be careful what you ask for because you just might get it, it's the god honest truth. I asked for this. I really did. I just hope it turns out how I want it to. I guess I should have written what I wanted down. Then, I would be really sure I would be getting it. Please wish me luck on getting a house. I really need it.

First... I had a few surprises. Susanna sent me the cutest card with a cat drinking champange. I think that British cards are so much more fun than American cards. Then on Monday, the fifth season of Sex in the City arrived in my mail box! Can you believe it! Susanna sent me a present! That was the coolest thing. I was shocked and excited and I just love it! I can't thank her enough. Nikki made the most beautiful pink bead and star earrings for me. Two pair and a bracelet. She is very creative and they are absolutely lovely! My cousin Cindy sent me a lovely bookmark with a flower in it. She also sent the most lovely card. It's multi-colored pink, brown and cream daisys that look like leather. I've got to take a picture. I love the card. My mom then surprised me by purchasing a TiVo for me for Christmas. It came on the Wednesday I left for DisneyLand... I set it up on my birthday, and I LOVE IT. I love TiVo. LOVE IT. Stephen of course took me to DisneyLand for my birthday, but he also gave me a signed copy of a poster he made for Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. It's a pretty cool poster, and I know the artist. I'm so lucky. I have such great friends who remembered me on my birthday. That is very cool.