you know that people always say the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. why does everyone think the grass is so green on my side? yep, i'm a career girl, who is single, can go where she wants to go, when ever she wants to... with basically no strings attached. but why would anyone think that this is the life? every friend i have is married. everyone. if i want to do something with someone, i either have to be a third wheel (my weekends) or take them away from their spouse (my tuesday nights). the other nights i sit at home trying to figure out how to make friends so that i don't have to sit alone anymore. i really thought that if i put myself out on the internet, and i tried to make conversation, that i could find someone. who am i kidding. even those who said they would write back don't. what is so wrong with me. i'm so tired of my ppp's. i'm so tired of my life. i see how those really fat people happen... they are so depressed that they sit around and eat cadburry mini eggs all day long. then they get bigger, and they eat more... i can totally see it. the only thing that gets me out is miss daisy. i guess i'm really lucky, right? i have a dog. my dog won't go to the bathroom in the backyard. so, there you have it. if you are reading this, and you would like to do something, anything, i'll even pick... just comment, or send me an email. better yet, call.

since i can't talk to mm... i've been listening to the big bad voodoo daddy cd that he sent me... god is it good! it really makes me want to dance. not that i'm up for dancing, but you know what i mean. i'm thinking that since sheri's not talking to me, for what reason i have yet to ask, i should ask for the one he made for me. i'd like to see if it still makes me cry. i bet it does. maybe that isn't such a great idea. hmmm. ok, not asking for it back. no need to cry and be sick at the same time.

ms. anne-a-belle's baby shower was today. i blew off a bbq at andrea's last night to ensure that i was going to be in tip top shape. i do feel bad, but then i don't. my nose looks like crap from all the blowing and i wanted to have daisy with me. i'm not sure that she is welcome at andrea's new house. anyway, miss anne-a-belle's shower was at macarthur park in downtown palo alto. not only was it free, it was champange brunch for free. $31 per person for free. can you say, "mar and i didn't eat enough"? anne-a-belle was showered with gifts from over 40 people. she got just about everything on her registry, and then clothes galore. she didn't get as many little t-shirts and onesy's as i thought she would, but she raked it in. there were three pregnant women there. anne, dina and one of anne's cousins. i told anne on monday that i would trade places with her in a heart beat... i'd love to have children, the sooner the better... back to the story... anne got 2 of the most beautiful handmade quilts that i have ever seen. one was a plain checkerboard, yellow and white to match the room, the other animal fabric built into star shaped squares, and then quilted with stars all around. made me feel like the blanket i'm knitting is nothing. i'm almost sorry i took it with me. then i showed it to anne's mom. she teared up. i just love connie. she is the most wonderful woman. when mom gets back in town, i've got to hook the two of them up. i bet they would be great friends. i had a good time at the shower, no i had a great time. i just have to figure out how to get out of my shell. it's that aura thing, isn't it. damn aura.

yes, it is true. for the first time since tuesday, i actually left the house to do something besides go to the doctor or the grocery store. i decided that enough was enough, and i needed to get out! so, i put my dog in the car and went to mar's. i helped her put in her bathroom light ficture, and went with her to home depot. fun stuff. i'm pretty tired now. time to go to bed, miss anne-a-belle's baby shower is tomorrow, and i need to be rested. i've been told that connie is going to be very angry if i don't show up. isn't it nice to feel wanted?

i hate that i have a hard time moving on. yet again, i sit here dying to talk to mm. i told myself i was never going to contact him again. i told him that i was never going to contact him again. but now i'm dying to. i don't know if it is because i am still sick, or if it is because i am a glutton for punishment. it is probally a little bit of both, don't you think? oh, yeah. pretty boy is still writing to me. i sent him more pictures and he still wrote back. we shall see if anything comes of it. i'm working on pulling in my aura. any suggestions on how to do this, please let me know.

for all of you well wishers out there, thank you. i've gone to the doctor, got some legal drugs and hopefully i will be back to work tomorrow. we shall see. i still have that sexy raspy thing going on, if you want to hear it. but now, it's mixed with sniffles.

i tried to go to the doctor today. i thought my doctor was at an urgent care center, apparently, that is only after hours. they couldn't fit me in. the receptionist asked me what other symptoms did i have besides a fever. so, i do have a fever. i told her sore throat... she asked me if i had been out of the country. wow, if she needed to ask me that question, don't you think that i should have been sick enough to see a doctor right then? i go at 8:15 am tomorrow. i miss daisy. she has been with carol all day. i'm so jealous. i like to hold her when i'm sick. she even went to the groomers, and i haven't seen her hair cut yet. :( but, on the bright side, it is raining here, and i don't have to walk her. that is a bonus, right?