coming home

so, my mother, the most pain tollerant person i know is coming home. it has just become too much for her. those of you who know me, know i’m a planner. i planned for this to happen earlier, than october. i knew she wasn’t going to hold out that long. but next week? i’m just not prepared. i wanted to move furniture around… i wanted to paint… andrea was going to come and help me with the kitchen. i wanted the house to look really good for when she came home. that’s not going to happen. i might get the furniture moved. i might. there is a bunch to move. 2 dressers, a queen sized bed, a computer desk, a sofa, a chair, end tables, and the all important exercise bike. and i better not forget the book cases.

i’ve asked for assistance, and i think that i’m going to get it… but you never know… i can’t move some of it by myself. others i can. i think i’m going to start on saturday, and leave the big stuff for when i get help. the coputer desk is super heavy and requires two people for sure. the dressers and couch, two people… everything else i can do myself.

i’m very worried about my mom. i feel like i should be jumping on an airplane and bringing her home. i should go and pack her up and make sure she gets here ok. mar, of course, is on vacation… not much help is going to come from her anyway. she never knows quite what to do, how to handle it. she just whines and then hides. i just hope that mom is going to be fine, that the surgery works and that she will be back to her old self in no time. i’m going to rent a wheel chair next week. i will be prepared when she gets here. doesn’t it suck when your not so old parent gets old? just when did all this time pass? can’t we take two steps back before we go forward again?