blockage!

i have decided that it is time to start blocking people. i’m really feeling censored, and i’m tired of that noise. if you could once see this, and now you can’t… HA! wait! those people can’t read this! so on to what is going on…

so, the new boy is starting to bug me. it’s one of those situtations where, yes, he is nice. yes, he could be a good father/provider. yes, he likes me. BUT, he doesn’t put the toilet seat down. he doesn’t help clean up or make dinner. he has this weird friendship with this woman from work. apparently she doesn’t make a lot of money, and can’t afford the 5 kids she has. so, he gives her grocery money, helps her with car insurance, and is even watching her kids every saturday for 6 weeks so she can do community service (don’t ask). it feels like an sb situation all over again, but at least sb wanted to go places and do things. this guy, while he says he wants to do things, never does anything, with me that is. he takes this woman from work out to dinner, to the movies, etc. so my question is, why is it that he wants to see me, when it is obvious to me that he wants to be with this woman from work. HELLO?

then there is rocker boy (rb). i really like rb. i’ve been emailing him for almost a month, but i’m scared to death to meet him. he is tall, 6’6″, redish blond hair, and has the sweetest picture out on match. he is a musician (plays bass guitar), and we all know about me and the musician thing. he has not been really up to meet me (has never suggested it) and with this whole new boy thing, i’ve not been really up to meet him either. but now, i’ve been thinking that maybe i’ve been a fool to put it off… rb thought maybe last sunday would be a good day to meet, but with the whole surgery thing, i wasn’t too sure. we are talking around meeting this week… fyi, i am getting the girlfriend vibe here. don’t know why, but i am.

so, i’m thinking i’m ready to throw in the towel. AGAIN. but then, i really don’t want to. i really want to meet the right guy and settle down and have a kid. so, now comes the work it out part… decide to tell the new boy that it’s just not working for me, and find out if rb is really interested after he meets me in person. oh my god. and i don’t even have a busy job to help keep my head quiet.