my all time favorite crooner is going to be at the blackthorn tavern this evening. the rocker and i are planning on being in attendance. that is, unless my mood doesn’t change.
again this week, i have managed to put myself in a funck of uncertainity. why i do this i just don’t know. i have absolutely no faith in anything anymore. unless something is up in my face screaming “HELLO”, i’m all too ready to say forget it, this isn’t what i want.
i can tell you that i’m not too happy with myself these days. i hate the self doubt. i hate feeling like i’m not worthy and this is all a big joke. i don’t understand why i’m not secure. i should be. there is absolutely no reason for me not to be. but i’m not. this makes for eating candy all day long, which doesn’t help in other areas. today’s tasks involve chewing gum everytime i want to grab for chocolate and trying to ween myself off of coke and back onto h2o.
lets hope that i don’t decide to cancel my deke adventure, that i don’t eat too much chocolate (or gum for that matter) and that water quickly becomes my drink of choice. otherwise, i’ll really have a reason for self loathing.
Look who’s talking…