cindy laughs again!

my cousin cindy sent me a few funnies today… this one is a keeper!

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C L U B T O P 5
I, TopFive, do solemnly swear…
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August 27, 2003

NOTE FROM CHRIS:

Continuing with our special California recall election week, in which we choose two or three candidates each day and help them come up with attention-getting campaign slogans.

Today’s targets are both, er, ladies:

Angelyne, the top-heavy, sunglass-wearing, pink-Corvette-driving
Los Angeles billboard queen.
http://www.angelyne.com/tc.html

Mary Carey, the porn star who wants to install live web cams in
every room of the Governor’s Mansion.
http://www.marycarey.com

The Top 10 Angelyne Campaign Slogans

10. I’ll Raise Something Other Than Your Taxes
  9. Bringing the Silicone to Silicon Valley
  8. Can Anyone Possibly Be More Vapid Than Gray Davis? YES!
  7. TWICE the Boob Your One Vote Usually Gets You
  6. Let’s Get California Back in the Pink (Corvette, That Is)
  5. Don’t Think, Just Vote for Me! Hurry Up!
     “Six Feet Under” Is On in Twenty Minutes!
  4. If I Can Balance These Puppies, I Can Balance the Budget
  3. I’m NOTHING Like That Publicity-Whore, Mary Carey
  2. Bigger Breasts Than Any Candidate Except Arnold

and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Angelyne Campaign Slogan…

  1. The Governor’s Mansion Needs a New Set of Knockers

The Top 10 Mary Carey Slogans

10. For Once, Let the People Screw the Governor
  9. Well-Prepared to Handle Those Pricks in the State Senate
  8. I Challenge 100-Year-Old Candidate Mathilda Spak
     to a Topless Debate — any Time, Anywhere!
  7. Now You Can Chuckle Knowingly When Someone Says,
     “Your Governor sucks!”
  6. Dying to Get in Bed With Special Interest Groups… and Film It!
  5. I’ll Provide ‘Jobs for the Entire State
  4. Free Trial Campaign Speeches — No Credit Card Needed!
  3. I’m NOTHING Like That Publicity-Whore, Angelyne
  2. Ohmygod, Your Ballot Is So Big! I Couldn’t Possibly…
     Oh… My… God! Yes! Vote Me, Baby! Vote Me Hard!

and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Mary Carey Campaign Slogan…

  1. A Lickin’ in Every Spot