miss manners takes on bloggers!

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i was reading over at nongirlfriend about the fact that miss manners wrote a little somethin’ somethin’ about blogging.

Friends are not the ideal receptacles for daily confidences that keep making these points, as it does not take long to discover. Their minds wander, causing them to misunderstand or forget what they were told. They are especially prone to forgetting they were told not to tell others. Their emotions don’t always come out the way they were supposed to, and they make irritating remarks, such as “You’re not being fair” or “I don’t see what you’re so upset about.” Their loyalties shift, leaving them with choice material to use against the very person who supplied it.

we all know that this blogger has been through all that. some of it may have been deserved, and others god only know where the “intended victoms” mind was at. in the end, i’m glad i blog. the people who know and really love me in my life don’t give a damn what i write, they see this for what it is… MY diary. my cousin sees it like that, my mom, and all the girls at gno. they all see it as that. some read, some don’t. most know me well enough to take some of it with a grain of salt.

that being said… what miss manners considers “gossip” is what i consider my feelings to be. hmm. that really isn’t gossip now, is it. no, it’s not. i think that while miss manners may think that she understands the nature of blogging, she really doesn’t. to blog is to be part of a community. hopefully you have a reader or two, and you read a bunch more than that. you help support your reads, and you hope they support you in your time of need.

is my dad’s heart attack gossip? no. is the fact that he won’t eat veggies and doesn’t like to listen to his doctors gossip? no. are some of the things that happened at the hospital that bugged me gossip? depends on who you ask, but my lessons learned aren’t. and all those things that bugged me about the rocker… STILL not gossip. think again miss manners. you’ve got it wrong.

just remember miss manners, with your outward criticism of bloggers, you have just done to an entire community what you accuse that community of doing… gossiping. do you not read your own column? don’t you take your own advice? you just gossiped about millions of people you don’t even know. you went farther than the internet, you blabbed in hundreds of news papers around the country. shame on you miss manners. shame.

by the way, i already have a blank book to hand write things in… it just doesn’t have a lock. it never will. AND, while i’ve never had a desire to be on jerry springer, my life after 20 would be a great episode.

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  1. I find her comment at the end that you will come to regret this ‘material floating around’ quite ridiculous. Most of us do censor ourselves, it would be impossible to spread hurtful gossip about people you know without them finding out about it. (That is if your friends and family know about the existence of your blog.)
    My blog is not only a place to vent, but also a way to jot down thoughts and events, and a way to keep in touch with family and friends. My father hears things about me through it that we would probably not talk about otherwise, and I really think he has got to know me better because of it.
    I think rather than a diary, the weblog should be called something like an ‘open letter’.

  2. My family reads my blog mainly because how many people really know the ins and outs of their loved ones lives. My mom and dad split when I was young, my mom hasnt know the details of day to day life in 20 years, b/c when we do talk, its usually about reality tv (hehe) so she loves it, and treats it like a diary too. And you’re right – none of those things are “gossip”, and dont really know many of us who “gossip” in our blogs..huh.

  3. I don’t know…I can sort of appreciate it when she says, “What is of concern to etiquette is the way bloggers write about other people.” Recently,  had an ugly break-up with my blogger boyfriend, and the whining about the way I felt was happening daily in my blog. One of his friends took it upon themselves to put some comments about it on their blog (although she did it without pointing fingers, I felt it was a direct attack on myself), and I decided right then and there that I would never venture to comment about how other people were feeling, or blatantly blast them for being upset/happy/showing any emotion about something in their blog. I was going through a hard time. I chose to “whine” about it on my blog, and if she didn’t like it, she could just not read it for a while.

    But I do think that Miss Manners seems to be attacking bloggers in general, making some sort of assumption about us craving the attention it might bring us? I don’t know. There’s something skeezy about it. I hate the comment she makes as follows: “They are supposed to supply fame and hordes of eager and sympathetic listeners in the present.” That just makes me want to tell her to fuck right off…

    Found your blog through Pixel Sphynx. Love it!