once again i have made the mistake of asking jt to do something. you know, i’m not even really fond of him. i used to think he was a great guy, but now i know he is not. not at all, and yet, i keep asking him to do things. i’ve got to stop doing that.
maybe it is because i dumped stephen. maybe i’m looking to fill a void. yes, stephen has left a big void. but jt isn’t the one to fill it. he really isn’t. i don’t need another man in my life who wants me to have a crush on him. i’ve got mm and that is fine. and now that relationship is on terms i can handle, things are much better. i get to chat whenever i want, and he pushes back when i’ve gone too far. wait, he hasn’t pushed back yet. and he hasn’t really ignored anything i’ve said either. i know, i’ve figured out how to keep it under control. isn’t that grand. i’m learning. and i can flirt really bad if i really want to. lucky for both of us that i’m better. i want to, but i don’t. i know my limits. 
deke is in sacramento on saturday night, and i’m going to ditch the damn puppies and run! cinder is meeting me, or i’m meeting cinder, and i’m off to flirt with deke. i don’t have to go by myself, which is always a bonus, and gotta love deke. yummy deke. why can’t deke live around here so that i could see him all the time. nope, he’s got to travel all the time. sharing that great music with everyone. what a wonderful guy. poor cinder. i hope she can handle it. me gushing over deke. it could be a problem.
Look who’s talking…