{angry rant}
tonight was therapy. gotta love therapy. today we talked more about how the rocker isn’t right for me, how inmature he is, and how i made the best decision that i could have made.
yes, i know all these things. NO, I DON’T CARE.
i miss the rocker, god damn it.
he used me, played passive-agressive games with me, and made me feel like shit most of the time, but I MISS HIM.
and yes, i know, i made the right decision. that doesn’t mean i’m happy about it.
{/angry rant}
I love how therapists think, just because we made the “right” decision, that’s going to make us feel better. Most of the time, at least in my case, the right decision feels like crap and when the therapist says how good it is that I came to that decision, I want to leap across the room and smack the shit out of them. It doesn’t help to know you made the right decision when you can’t them out of your head.
Sorry, I went off on a rant of my own there… battling my own demons night as far as the ex goes and fighting the urge to pick up the phone, even though I know it’s going to start the whole roller coaster all over again. ugh. Just wanted to tell you I’m with you in spirit on this.
If only it didn’t feel so GOOD sometimes… sigh.