online dating

i think that online dating has got to be one of the most degrading things i have ever put myself through. i have a profile, and i added a picture, i even posted it on a site that “caters” to larger women. yet, i’ve sent over 10 emails in the past 2 days, and i’ve only had one response. one. that’s it. what the hell is wrong with my picture? i just don’t get it. i never thought i was ugly. i always thought that i was pretty, at least i hoped i was. now, i’m not so sure.

mm used to tell me how absolutely strong i was. i used to tell him it was bullshit. i just wanted to believe that he was right. i am strong. really, i am. but this just sucks. they give you an option to tell someone that you are interested. i wrote to guys that said they were interested in me. do you think they could spare a minute to write back? HELLO? why would they possibly want to do that? and i hate that i can tell if they have read the note. i kind of wish that i didn’t know. then i could blame it on the web interface.

i know that i’m not a small girl. yes, i wear an xl at old navy. i don’t have to shop at lane bryant anymore (unless i want to). i still need to lose weight, but i’ve been working out just about every day. so what is the problem? why can’t guys get past the fact that some people don’t take the best pictures? why won’t they take a minute to get to know you, even though that is what they claim to want to do?

i just don’t understand what is so very wrong with me… ok, that’s enough ppp… i’m going to bed.