i decided that i didn't like the rocker using things i told him against me. he seems to do it more than i like so, i asked him to meet me at the house, and i said my peace. i told my boy that he was never allowed to say that my "mental stability" was a reason not to take our relationship farther. i told him that if he was having a problem with what was going on, he needed to own it. i think that is only fair. i mean really, blaming one another for our problems doesn't get anyone anywhere. … [Read more...]

for the past few years, my dad has been trying to get me to buy him out of my parents house. i've not really wanted to... i don't see any reason to buy something that will be mine some day anyway. i mean really. i know it sounds wrong (thinking that my dad is going to die and i'm going to get the house), but after the stroke things are looking more that way. BUT, mom doesn't want dad to be on the property anymore. i can't say that i blame her. she is concerned that upon dad's death, dad's … [Read more...]

well... i finally launched my cold fusion site on friday... i've been playing around, making sure it's happy for the past few days. it seems to be. it's nice when work goes well. my boss told me today that i am going to pass probation, and that i will have tenure on march 17. that makes me very happy. no more worrying about getting laid off. even though i shouldn't, i do worry about being let go. i worry that i'm just not good enough. my boss told me today that i am. and that they are … [Read more...]

there are days when my zoloft works... there are weeks when my zoloft works... unfortunately, my zoloft hasn't worked for weeks. i have been in this funk. i'm in it at work, i'm in it at home, i'm in it on gno and i'm in it with the rocker. i don't know why. nothing is really wrong. i really should be happy. but, i'm just not. and for the most part, i don't even want to talk about it. how weird is that? … [Read more...]

coldfusion and i have been having a fight for months. i want it to not prompt for a network password, and it wants to prompt for a network password. today a uber cool dude over in the college of business figured it out. yes, i didn't give permission to the coldfusion folder to inet_user. what a loser am i. but, now at least i can launch... if i can get it to see the sjsu style sheet. happy dance! happy dance! … [Read more...]

i had such a wonderful time at stiches west! i can not tell you how absolutely inspiring it was! on friday, my day started with having breakfast with my dad... who is still not quite himself... i think that as weeks go on, things will get better, but i'm worried that he will never be the same again. we went to this little place in danville called ruggies... it's ok. i had 1/2 a bennie. if i had been good, i wouldn't have eaten my hashbrowns... i wasn't good, but they were. i dropped my … [Read more...]

that's right, i'm going to take a vacation day tomorrow. i'm so excited, but i wish that i was really going to do something... well, i am going to do something. i'm going to go to stiches west 2004 up in oakland. i thought i might take a class, but then i decided that i really didn't want to. this is my first knitting convention, and i'm not sure what to expect. i'm guessing that i will be kicking myself upside the head for not taking a class. oh well. i'm also going up to danville to … [Read more...]

yesterday, i had the pleasure, no, dare i say the privilege, of going to the chancellors office in long beach. apparently since the keeper of the academic calendar left, i became the keeper of the calendar. so... i put my butt on an airplane and set off on a journey to learn about calendaring in the csu. what a load of crap. i have no idea why i had to go... i have no idea why sjsu had to pay for me to fly down, to watch someone go over powerpoint slides. hello? isn't that why companies … [Read more...]

after the argument, the rocker and i watched countdown with keith olbermann. one of the stories was that barbie dumped ken after 42 years of being together. And it might just be the time for you to get rid of that sack-of-stuff boyfriend or girlfriend. Yes, I know, Valentine?s Day is Saturday. But so what? You would rather fake it for another holiday? If Barbie can do it - you heard me, the Mattel company announcing today that said Barbie has kicked Ken to the curb, seriously. ?Like … [Read more...]

well, i'm at work. that is about all i can say about my life right now. at some point in time my work life became the wasc accreditation. i don't know how this happened. my boss went on vacation, and wasc took over. first it was that i didn't have a unix password for sjsu. so, for the past 2 weeks or so, i've been trying to get access. this attempt to get access eventually turned into me filing a personal complaint with hr against the unix administrator. i have never in my life wanted to … [Read more...]