on feeling alone

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this morning i’ve been working on a new skin… trying to make some text “stay put” while others move on a fixed background. so, i went roaming around to see if i could find someone who is already doing that, so i could “borrow” the css.

in my travels, i found this: making friends as you age.

wow. i’ve been trying to increase my friend base. i really have been. i’m not very good at it. i went to four different high schools, 3 different colleges, and i’ve changed jobs several times since graduation. it seems like i’ve been trained not to stay in one place too long. it’s really hard to make friends and keep them with that mindset.

i can count my true friends on one hand. not a one of them i’ve had since childhood. actually i’ve known one of them for almost 8 years. everyone else about 5. missey andrea has been very good at helping me increase my friend base. most of my friends i’ve met thru her.

while dating the rocker, i was amazed how many friends he seemed to have. friends from high school, friends from college. i really was jealous about it. i wished that i had those connections. people who really “knew” me. i longed for friends with all that history.

most of my friends, sans one actually, are married and on the family path. being older than dirt and single, finding friends that are in the same position as me is difficult. i tried looking for friends on craigslist once. i answered a bunch of ads, only to find that women of my age are much more interested in meeting / spending time with a new boy toy than a new friend.

reading this article really hit home this morning. making friends is tough. keeping them is tough. i guess i need to stop avoiding the knitting store in the evening because i’m scared to talk. i need to stop avoiding knitting meet-up because i don’t know anyone. i need to find a place to be a regular, and make friends with the other regulars. i need to actually talk to people at the dog park.

i need to not feel guilty that i’m leaving my dog home alone. i’ve been threatening to get another dog to keep her company. i think i just need to do it. that way, i won’t feel quite as bad about it, right?

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  1. Hmmm. This doesn’t look good for me – I don’t exactly have a lot of childhood friends either!

    Are you still looking for the css, because I might be able to help you out.

  2. I know I have that somewhere..if you still need it let me know.

    oh and *hugs*

  3. I’ve found friends, close or almost close, don’t tend to keep in touch. If you’re the “close” type, then it comes down to you for the phone calls, the e-mail, etc.

    And if you stop with the effort? They just fade away. Sad but true.

  4. The Gwenster “called me” on the negativity posted above. I should qualify…

    I love my friends. To me, it has been the experience that there is a “caller” and the other who “answers” the call. I tend to be the caller. I don’t mind it 98% of the time because one of the two have to make the time to call—that’s probably the hard part; finding time.

    In my experience, I can also say that some of my friends have faded away. Not their memories, or their worth, but literally faded because their number(s) changed, they moved, etc. I almost think Classmates.com (even with all their hard-sell tactics) should be Government funded… I don’t know of any other source which could both get me back in touch with my 3-week 8th grade girlfriend AND allow me to compare my meager starving-artist wages with those of my classmates who all went to Engineering college.

    So I apologize for the black rain clouds, Pooh. I was just trying to be concise smile